Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Pregnancy Update: 25-weeks (6 months ish)

Here are my 6-month stats:
Physically I have felt pretty good these days, I've even gotten out and done a bit of hiking. I haven't been sleeping that well though due to back pain. Even though I have a pregnancy pillow, far too many other pillows have been brought in to remedy the situation. I have also been getting heartburn at random times, like after eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or in the middle of the night waking me from sleep. So weird! Luckily, the heartburn isn't an often occurrence. Mentally, I am all over the place. Some days are great, others are horrible. For instance, on Easter I cried probably 5 times throughout the day and just could not get happy. Mild little bouts of depression creep in and out of my days. I know it is hormone related, but it is still something that I am struggling with. I really hope it doesn't turn into postpartum depression once the baby comes.

The bump is in full swing of growth right now. Some days I look more round than others, but there is definitely an obvious bump now. I can feel little girl kicking and moving on a regular basis

My cravings these days are instant and short lived. I will crave something, eat it, and then not want it again for a while. Among these things have been shrimp, jellybeans, and pop tarts. I am not liking chicken or scrambled eggs much these days. I will eat just about anything else...and a lot of it.

Baby Stats:
The baby is the size of a turnip. According to my latest ultrasound she is weighing roughly 1 pound, 2 ounces. (She's measuring small for her "age", but healthy non the less.) She is supposed to grow 6 ounces a week from here on out. Her ears are nice and developed now, so she can hear most of the sounds going on around me. (How cool!) And she is sucking her fingers. I know this because we saw her doing it during an ultrasound.
Here she is sucking on her fingers during the ultrasound.
 Awkward Moment:
While on a little vacation, Andy and I were walking back to our hotel from dinner and the baby directly kicked my bladder. She kicked the pee right out of me! I totally wet my pants (just a squirt). Luckily we were almost to the hotel so it wasn't too bad of a situation. Definitely a first though.

25-week Pregnancy Food in Pictures:
strawberries with cheddar and parmesan cheese

bang-bang shrimp pasta with zucchini and mushrooms
strawberry ice-cream with a peanut butter cookie

homemade yogurt with honey

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Pregnancy: A Lonely Road

Lately I have found pregnancy to be quite lonely and alienating. It probably doesn't help that Andy works out of town 80% of the time, or that none of our friend have kids, or that my body is raging with hormones. These things just add insult to injury.

I am trying SO HARD not to feel bad for myself, but some days I just can't help it. Especially this week. This week was bad. Andy was out of town all week and this weekend, and today is Easter. I find myself sitting here crying over a bowl of cereal (again) as I write this. Everyone is busy doing things with their families or recovering from too much Saturday night drinking, and here I sit lonely as ever.

Pregnancy is just such a weird, strange time of transition. It is going from independence to motherhood. A time full of changes, both physically and emotionally. There is incredible growth happening, once again both physically and emotionally. I spend my days processing this new life inside of me and what it will mean for the rest of my life. My decisions now involve what to eat that will be healthy for the baby inside of me, and when to rest or do something for myself. My thinking is not my own anymore. I am already putting this baby and my body first, so that we have the best possible chance for health and life.

It is hard for me to relate to other people and vice versa because of all these changes occurring. No one else is going through change, everything has stayed the same except for me. I feel like life carries on around me as I sit alone and slowly work through these changes inside of me. It is lonely. Sometimes I wish I could just be the person that I was before this pregnancy and get on with the party, but I can't. My priorities are different now and I feel stuck. I don't know where I fit in. I feel lost and frustrated in a time that I am supposed to be joyously welcoming this new life.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

It's A GIRL!

Did I mention that it's a GIRL? Well, we found out and I couldn't be more happy! I desperately hoped it would be a girl, do I am beyond excited that it is. It will be the biggest privilege for me to raise a little girl the way that my mom raised me. I can't wait!

Since we are the first of our close friends to have a baby we decided to be cheesy about it and throw a little gender-reveal party. Our house is still under renovation so we didn't go all out with the party, but having a few friends over on a Sunday afternoon to reveal our baby's sex was definitely fun. We made cupcakes decorated in blue and pink icing with eye lashes and mustaches on them. That was the "theme" of the get together. We had our friends wear pink or blue based on what they thought/hoped it would be. After everyone arrived we ate some snacks and then each person took a turn throwing darts at black balloons. (Idea from this blogger.) Surprisingly, we got through almost all of the balloons without hitting the gender reveal balloon. The second to last balloon to be hit had the pink confetti in it. Everyone cheered and we made a jolly little afternoon of it. It was a fun, low key way to announce the sex of our baby girl. Let the pink and ruffles begin!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Pregnancy Update: week-20 (5 months)

Here are my 5-month stats:

Shew, for the first time in 20 weeks I finally feel like myself! (Most days.) My energy levels are fairly regular, though I still nap here and there, and I am eating normal again. The one main thing that I would say is different this month is my emotional state. I haven't been emotional one bit since getting pregnant until now. When I learned I was pregnant there were no tears, just fear and excitement. When I heard the heart beat the first time, still no tears. Learned the sex of the baby...well maybe 1 tear. I happily watched sappy movies and tv shows and felt no emotion. I was beginning to wonder if I had turned into an ice queen. UNTIL, the last few weeks. Now I am a wreck! I don't know where it came from, but the emotions have swept over me like getting caught in a storm at sea. Some days I can hardly keep my head above water. I cry for no reason! I will also admit (which is hard and I hate acknowledging the fact) that I've had some depression lately. I know it is completely hormonal and it doesn't last more than a day or two at a time, but it is hard to deal with when I fall into that state. Despite feeling mostly normal, I still strongly dislike being pregnant even though my body is doing an amazing thing. I will be happy when my body is done being pregnant.

The bump is finally growing! I feel like I went out of town for one weekend and while I was gone I grew a little bump. Well if that's all it took, I should have left town a lot sooner! Hurray for baby bumps! I guess I'll just get bigger from here on out.

I haven't really craved anything specific lately. My appetite is coming along fantastically though. I can eat anything again and I am actually hungry now. I have been making hearty soups and pancakes and plenty of baked goods. I also started making homemade yogurt and granola, which I now eat for breakfast every morning. I am still eating a lot of fruit flavored ice-creams. I guess that would be the one main thing that I crave.

What Baby Center says:
The baby is the size of a mango. She (yes, it's a GIRL!) now has finger prints. She is also growing hair and can hiccup and yawn. She is gaining body fat and becoming more active every day. (And I can feel her doing somersaults pretty regularly.)

20-week Pregnancy Food in Pictures:
apple slices, clementine, sharp cheddar cheese, chocolate chip cookie, hard boiled egg
chili with cheddar cheese, club crackers

apple slices, chicken salad sandwich (with capers!), gingersnap cookie, black olives

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Pregnancy: prison in your own body?

I know, what a depressing title, but I couldn't think of anything better. Maybe I am in a funk of a mood, or maybe pregnancy really just isn't for me. I don't know what my issue is, but I am NOT enjoying pregnancy! I feel trapped in my own body.

First trimester was a nightmare what with nausea, vomiting, bloating, cramping and constant exhaustion. After the first few weeks of feeling fine and walking with my head in the clouds feeling both blissfully happy and terribly horrified is when my body stopped being my own. My body was taken over with sensations that I have never experienced before, and while some were not all bad, all were definitely uncomfortable.

Now that I am in the middle of my second trimester you would think that my attitude towards pregnancy has changed, it hasn't. I don't like being out of control of my body, I hate it! While I feel 90% better than I did in my first trimester, I still don't feel normal. My body is not my own. I am gaining weight and breaking out and still feel uncomfortable. I know I am growing life and I should be happy and grateful, but I am struggling to do so. I just want to drink a beer, maybe two or three. I don't want to have limits and rules. I feel delicate, like I have to be careful with myself and watch everything that I do and eat. I hate feeling held down, and this pregnancy is holding me down! My life feels like it is on pause and I just have to wait to give birth to push play again.

Gosh, what a negative post. I am not a negative person, so this is out of the ordinary for me. I refuse to mask my feelings though, this sucks, I am ready to be done with it. That's how I truly feel. I am ready to have my life back. Yet, it isn't my life anymore. My life is forever changed and grappling with that has been more difficult for me than I thought it would be.
Found this online, not sure where it came from or who said it.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Pregnant Lady at a Bachelorette Party

My bag is packed and I am headed to a weekend long bachelorette party in New York City. I am both excited and awkwardly nervous. I am not the type of person to be nervous about spending a wild weekend with fun girls in NYC, but the pregnant woman in me is a bit of a wreck right now. I am feeling old, fat, ugly (skin is broken out), and not like my usual fun, perky self. I take naps, eat on a schedule, go to bed early, and don't drink alcohol. None of that sounds like fun to be around. How are people going to enjoy being around me? Also, how am I going to survive a night out in a CLUB?


At almost 5-months pregnant I am kind of showing, but I mostly just look fatter. I have a definite belly, but it is only obvious when I am naked. Luckily it is winter and a large coat can disguise any size of belly. Where a nightclub is concerned though, I have other issues. Girls in clubs don't wear many clothes, let alone bulky jackets. They look hot and sexy, two things I feel are impossible for me to attain right now.

I have torn apart my closet and flipped it upside down. Andy has sat through many a fashion show of me modeling possible nightclub outfits. He gives good critiques like: "I rate it 4 out of 10." or "I would buy you a drink in that outfit." or "You need a bigger push-up bra." or "Don't wear heels in the house, the floor may scratch." What a supportive husband I have. :)

As it turns out, my go-to outfit of black jeans and a black sparkly tank top looks horribly bad on my halfway pregnant body. I could not look more frumpy in those clothes. I mean, those clothes were a major insult to my life growing body. Oh the horror!!

So I did a quick run to Ross. I'd seen their mini maternity section before and figured if I was going to find anything sexy and cheap it would be Ross. (Because when again am I going to want to be uncomfortable and look sexy as a pregnant woman? I love my sweatpants.) Sure enough, I found some great black tights immediately. As for tops though, they were all very momly. (is that a word?) After that, my solution was to buy a size up in regular tops. I think I had some luck. I guess we will see when I hit up the club on Saturday night. Wish me luck!

Dressing room options at Ross.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Things I didn't expect in pregnancy

Since I am almost half way through my pregnancy I decided it would be a good time to post about the things that I had not expected to happen, but have. Everyone talks about the glowing pregnant woman, or how your hair thickens and shines, or even the bad things like morning sickness and back pain. I was blissfully ignorant as to the real things that actually happen during pregnancy. I know that everyone is different, so these are just the things have I personally have gone through.

Greasy Hair
About a month into my pregnancy my hair became so greasy that I felt like I either had to wear it up, or wash it twice a day. I have NEVER had hair that greasy before! Luckily the grease stopped at about 12 weeks and now I am back to having normal hair. I still don't have the super shiny thick hair that people talk about pregnant women getting though.

Weight Loss
During my first trimester I lost 10 pounds. Just when I thought I would be packing on the weight, I was losing it instead. The midwife said that is completely normal. I had no idea! She said it could be from a change in lifestyle (like cutting out alcohol) or from morning sickness (I was puking up a solid meal about three times a week). Most likely it was a combination of those two things.

Hip Aches
Since the day I found out I was pregnant my hips have ached. I expected some hip and/or back pain towards the end of pregnancy, but never at the beginning. I have had hip aches all through pregnancy so far. It seems to be lessening (now at week 18), but maybe it will be back in my third trimester.

Belly Rot
Before, during, and after I had morning sickness I experienced something that I call "belly rot". It felt like there was something rotting in my stomach. I don't know how else to describe it, except for the fact that my stomach just felt rotten and nothing could fix it.

Sharp Abdominal Pain (round ligament pain)
I have had this since the beginning of pregnancy as well. The first time it happened I sneezed and felt a horrible sharp pain in my lower abdominal/uterus area. The pain lasted for a whole 5 seconds and I thought maybe I was miscarrying. It happened again two days later. Then I developed bronchitis and the pain happened almost every time I coughed. It was horrible! The midwife explained to me that it was round ligament pain. She said the round ligaments that hold my uterus in place loosen during pregnancy. This allows my uterus to expand and grow, thus causing round ligament pain with coughing and/or sneezing.

Loss of Appetite
Before pregnancy, everything I heard about appetite was that it would be insatiable. That I would be ravenous and want to eat everything in sight! This could not be farther from the truth. I have not had a single bit of appetite since getting pregnant. When the morning sickness hit I was definitely not hungry, but even now that morning sickness is gone I still don't have an appetite. I try to eat consistently, but I am never actually hungry. It is a weird feeling, especially since my pre-pregnancy appetite was always great.

Super Human Sense of Smell
It is true, my super power is smell! I have heard that pregnant women have a good sense of smell, but I had no idea it would be this wild. No joke, I can smell people a whole block away. I smelled a neighbors perfume as she got into her car three houses down from ours. I can smell what people are cooking for dinner as I walk my dog around the block. I can even smell when Andy has gas in another room of our house. I tell you, my sense of smell is crazy!

Major Dry Skin
Yes it is winter, yes dry skin happens, but whoa I am so dry! I have whole patches of red dry skin all over my arms and legs. When I get out of the shower I put solid gobs of lotion on these spots and just wait for them to soak in. Still, I am dry.